Someone recently found TravelHyper by searching for “fedora+resort”. When I saw that in my Google analytics page, I definitely paused for a moment trying to figure out what it might mean. Could someone have lost a beloved fedora at a resort? But alas, I soon realized the problem was that my blog was being invaded by hipsters. Apparently my blog is so unpopular that it is now the thing hipsters have to like to stay one step ahead of the other hipsters. In order to cater to my new audience, I’ve decided to put together a HANDY TRAVEL GUIDE FOR HIPSTERS. You’re welcome.
Where To Go
You’re a hipster and you can’t go just anywhere. You need to stay one step ahead of the uneducated masses. Europe is obviously out since it has been invaded by pedestrians and East Asia has been taken over by Weeaboos. Where can you go? I’ve narrowed down the countries that are left for you:
- Iran: Nothing will convince you to listen to “government propaganda” like travel warnings. So what if people get kidnapped here? That’s the best way for you to see the “real” Iran.
- Kyrgyzstan: Government instability is your thing and you won’t settle for one of those follower countries like Egypt or Yemen that started their protests a year too late. You want the place that started it all.
- Lancaster, Pennsylvania: You know who hipsters haven’t tried to be like yet? The Amish. Stay one step ahead of all your hipster buddies and go for the “real vintage” apparel.
What to Bring
The obvious choice here would be to suggest a fedora but if people are already Googling fedoras for their vacation then you’re too late; fedoras are out. There are still a few things you can bring with you:
- Cigarettes: Despite the fact that you only eat organic and raw foods that are gluten-free and “natural”, you really want to make sure people know you are coming by your pungent odor. Note: feel free to substitute a cigar or a pipe.
- A moustache: I don’t really care if you’re a girl. Just grow one.
- Instagram: Make your friends jealous with blurry iPhone shots and plenty of filters applied.
- Your liberal arts degree: I promise you, everyone really cares about where you went to school and that semester you spent abroad learning about real culture.
- Chuck Taylors: Yes, you really should wear Chucks with that suit when you head to that $100 a plate dinner. No one has ever thought of being that ironic.
- An armchair: You never know when a photo opportunity might arise!
- Your parents’ money: Someone has to pay for your 9 month “sabbatical”
Hopefully I’ve met all of your hipster needs and since no one reads this blog, you will stay one step ahead of all the other hipsters in your journey. Happy travels!